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The organic herb farmer was accused of dilly dallying around by his wife Rosemary, when he spent too much thyme trying to become a sage.
Last edited by Debrah (September 19, 2017 6:49 pm)
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A cowbell is what you call a lovely Southern cow.
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‘The great trouble with vaccination is that it vaccinates the mind.’ – Elbert Hubbard
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During the recent presidential election, Hillary Clinton remarked that she had eight years of experience as first lady, experience as a senator, and experience as secretary of state. In the world of task organization, years of service are secondary, while accomplishment of the mission is primary.
- (from an article at American Thinker by Frank Ryan)
She has no clue. In those first two roles, she accomplished absolutely nothing of note (not that a first lady is supposed to accomplish anything at all unless they have ego issues, which she did) and in the third position she managed to let several good people get killed because of her incompetence and stupidity. She lied to the american public about this for a long time, using several lame excuses as to who should take the blame and how and why. Comey is protecting her on this issue and much more (morbid and perverse stuff) by not letting her emails be inspected, and I'd be willing to bet the money of all the WADC swamp rats on that statement. Of course, the democrats don't/won't ever believe that she is capable of such deception. They haven't been reading the right stuff about her, that's all I can say. I've read more than enough stuff about her to last me a lifetime and none of it is good news.
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Am I my brother's informant? I fink not!
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Veterinarians treat all animals except ducks - that would be quack medicine.
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That last sentence says it all, doesn't it?
"This [Weinstein sex scandal thing] is delicious. These liberal actresses who act all rightous and mighty finally admitted that the conversation Trump have (sic) with Jeff Bush is universally correct about the characters of most "liberal" woman (sic). They will willing (sic) let you grab "it" if you have enough powers and money. Harvey Weinstein and the Feminists Actresses of Hollywood deserve each other. The acting "profession" is just a step from common prostitution and no amount of glamor is going to fix that." - from the comment section at an article I read today concerning this scandal
Here's my prediction: Weinstein will WILLINGLY (what else?) go into "therapy", hopefully not with a woman therapist, and in six months he will be proclaimed "cured" of his affliction, declared a good guy, and set loose again on the streets of America. No stain on his name, no police records, no monetary infringements - - the guy will literally smoke a cigar while he's being massaged by the entire USA.
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Money launderers are filthy rich!
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A university is a city in outer space.
Yep, those students are in outer space nowadays, that's for darn sure! The democrat party has made sure of it.
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The flip-side of contagious gum disease is an infectious smile.
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A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged.
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This one is really good!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Quote of the Day from the Los Angeles Times:
"Frankly, I don't know what it is about California, but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women to high office. I'm not bragging, you understand, but no other state, including Maine, even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to Washington, we're Number One. There's no getting around the fact that the last time anyone saw the likes of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Maxine Waters, and Nancy Pelosi, they were stirring a cauldron when the curtain went up on 'Macbeth'. The four of them are like jackasses who happen to possess the gift of blab. You don't know if you should condemn them for their stupidity or simply marvel at their ability to form words." - Columnist Burt Prelutsky, Los Angeles Times
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Pigs flying is an example of swine flew.
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A bunch of quotes from George Carlin. Some of these I've never heard before and I thought I'd heard everything he ever said!
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For a holistic diet, eat lots of Swiss cheese.
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What in the hell happened to all of my quotes??? There were about 3 or 4 pages of them here and now there's only one page - - - someone is changing things around without my consent, it would seem. Hafta find another forum host - - again. This will be the third time in two years. Damn.
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Some good ones about speaking your mind, from Benjamin Franklin.
"Politics is the art of the possible". - B. Franklin
Thinking aloud is a habit responsible for much of mankind's miseries. - B. Franklin
I'm against saying what you think out loud! - B. Franklin
"Insult people in private if you will, but when doing so in public they tend to think you are serious. Perfectly acceptable to insult someone in private . . . sometimes they might even thank you afterwards". - Benjamin Franklin
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Spoken like a true millionaire (which today would be a billionaire or a gazillionaire). I'm pretty sure most, if not all, of the gazillionaires of today fully agree with this quote, which is why the rest of us are having so much trouble just living life. The gazillionaires figure they have the right to tell us what to do with every aspect of our lives. I've got news for them - they will only ignite another revolution, even if it has to be a bloody one. It's coming. Soon. Watch for it.
“I believe Socialism is the grandest theory ever presented, and I am sure it will someday rule the world. Then we will have attained the Millennium…Then men will be content to work for the general welfare and share their riches with their neighbors.” (The New York Times, 1 January 1885, "A Millionaire Socialist")
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I've found this philosophy to be quite true. It's my own philosophy, that's why I believe in it!
Don't measure motherhood and caring in other nations by white western standards. The Mexican/Latino women want their children to survive... but tossing them over barbed wire to people who will care for them is their idea of LOVE. Sending them with relatives or renting them out to God knows who is also their idea of LOVE.
Not having to actually care for the children is their idea of caring. Not having to raise those children themselves is their idea of raising children. Not having to provide for those children with their own work ethic in their own country, is their idea of providing.
Children are viewed on a much different level by other cultures than how we American's feel about them. If you think that's not true, do some checking on it and see for yourself.
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In the deli, I learnt the finer aspics of making jello salad.
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Growing old is like being penalized for a crime you didn't commit. - Wilson, from the Home Improvement Show
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The Border Patrol controls the flow of illegal drugs at the Ports of Entry….
The drug cartels control the flow of illegal drugs …everywhere else.
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FDA = KGB in Russian.
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WHERE ARE THE REST OF MY PAGES????????????????
THERE USED TO BE ABOUT 5 OR 6 PAGES OF "JOKES" HERE - - - - NOW THEY'RE GONE. JUST WENT POOF I SUPPOSE, HUH? THIS BOARD SUCKS SOMETIMES.
GIVE ME BACK MY MISSING PAGES OF JOKES. MAYBE SOME COMPUTER WHIZ CAN HELP?????
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"Nature is amazing: Who would have thought of growing a fly swatter on the rear end of a cow?"
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If Jesus were alive today he would probably say "be careful or you just might find me."
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The problem today is simple: Kids don't know the fear of hearing the frightening sound of leather rapidly being removed through 7 Wrangler belt loops!
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Increasingly, I get the feeling that either the Democrats are losing touch with reality, or I am. I guess we will find out in November 2020.
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Plain food eaten in nature's palace.
(Old timer's term for a picnic). How great is that?!
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Don't know who wrote this, but truer words were never spoken.
"There is little to separate democrats from ISIS when it comes to plans for the future of America...."
It's getting really scary now. The dems are acting like a bunch of spoiled children and yet they want people to trust them with our future?? Uh, I don't think so.